Grape Crush
by Nigel the Octopus
Summary: Number 4 in a tutu? Grape soda? Sousaphones? All this and more in Grape Crush.


**Author's Note: Hello, I'm Nigel the Octopus. I write it down so you can laugh for a minute or two. Or not. It doesn't really affect me either way.**

"Hey, Numbuh 4, have you seen my-"

Numbuh 3 stared at Numbuh 4 in shock. He was wearing her official Rainbow Monkey Super-Mega-Fan tutu, dancing, and singing badly.

"_I came in like a wreeeeecking baaaall! I-" _Numbuh 4 looked up and saw Numbuh 3 staring at him. "Uh, Number 3! How long have you been standing there?" he sputtered.

"Long enough to know that you're wearing my Rainbow Monkey Super-Mega-Fan tutu! I've been looking all over for that!"

"I can explain! I, um, was looking for, um, my, um, quarter! Yeah, I was looking for my quarter in your room and, um, I saw it inside your tutu! So the-

"THEN WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY TUTU?!"

"I was getting to that! So, my quarter was in your tutu, and I reached in to get it. Next thing I knew, a giant robot meerkat was right behind me! I punched it in the face and fell into your tutu. The meerkat um, ran off through your wall…."

Numbuh 2 walked past them. He noticed Numbuh 4 and started to shout angrily.

"Hey Numbuh 4! I can't believe you took all of the food out of the fridge and hid it under my bed!"

"What are you talking about? I didn't even go in your cruddy room!" Numbuh 4 shouted back defensively.

"I walked into my room and sat down on my bed. It started leaking mustard. Then I looked under my bed and saw a huge pile of food! You even wrote your name in ketchup on my pillow!"

Numbuh 4 was pretty sure that he hadn't shoved any food under Numbuh 2's bed. Sure, he'd stashed a few bags of chips in Numbuh 1's room for emergencies, but he never put food in Numbuh 2's room.

"Well how do you know that somebody else didn't just write my name so you'd come after me instead of them?" he countered.

"You spelt your name N-U-W-D-A-R-4. It. Was. You."

"No it wasn't! I know how to spell my own name!"

"But you spelt your name wrong on that birthday card you gave me TUTU STEALER!" said Numbuh 3.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"GUYS! Stop it! Numbuh 4 needs to clean the food out of my bed!" Numbuh 2 screamed. He grabbed Numbuh 4's wrist and started to drag him back to his room.

"Nuh-uh! First he needs to give me back my tutu!" Numbuh 3 said as she grabbed Numbuh 4 by his other wrist and pulled him towards her.

"Bed!"

"Tutu!"

"Bed!"

"Tutu!"

Suddenly, the entire treehouse shook. All of the cans of soda hidden underneath Numbuh 2's bed exploded. The force of the explosion forced open the door. A giant wave of grape soda chased Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 3 out onto the street.

"Whew! That was close!" Numbuh 3 said, "Now, where'd Numbuh 4 go?"

"HELP! HELP! I forgot that I can't swim!" Numbuh 4 screamed like a little girl as he felt himself starting to drown. To him, it was drowning. To anybody else watching him, he was flailing in a shallow puddle of grape soda and crying. Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 3 looked at each other and burst out laughing as they took pictures.

* * *

Meanwhile, Numbuh 1 wanted to jump out a window. His dad had finally forced him to take sousaphone lessons. He _told_ his dad that he had to go fight adult tyranny, but his dad didn't listen.

"Now, let's try a scale." his annoying sousaphone teacher, Mr. Birkenstocks, said in his annoying high-pitched voice. Numbuh 1 rolled his eyes and proceeded to make a sound like a dying cat with his stupid sousaphone. The window shattered and he jumped. He felt a tugging at his ankle and looked down. That evil adult had chained him to an anchor!

"Why am I chained to an anchor?"

Mr. Birkenstocks, otherwise known as 'Lukas, One With Too Much Freetime', answered, "Why, so your mind stays _anchored _to your music of course! We wouldn't want you _drifting _away, Heh?"

Puns. Why did it have to be puns? Numbuh 2 would've at least had a chance. Not him. Numbuh 1 had no idea how to respond to the puns. Was he supposed to laugh once, like when a teacher made a bad joke, or was he supposed to just crack a smile? He decided to just stare out the window. How had he not noticed the adult dragging an anchor into the living room and chaining him to it?

"Let's try that scale again!"

Numbuh 1 could feel little pieces of himself dying everytime he made a noise on the sousaphone. It sounded terrible, but the adult nodded along and seemed to enjoy it.

The entire house started to shake.

"What's going on?" Mr. Birkenstocks obnoxiously questioned.

Before Numbuh 1 could say anything, grape soda poured into the room. Mr. Birkenstocks, the sousaphone, and the couch flew out the window. But Numbuh 1 was still chained to an anchor. He was stuck in his incredibly sticky living room, and he couldn't even barricade the doors against his evil teacher.

* * *

Numbuh 2 jumped back as an adult with a sousaphone stuck on his head landed right where he had been standing. Then a sticky couch landed on top of the adult, followed by the grape soda.

"Numbuh 4! You flooded Numbuh 1's house with grape soda!" he complained, "His dad's gonna kill you!"

Numbuh 4 still thought he was drowning, so he didn't say anything except for, "HELP ME! I still don't know how to swim! I'm drowning!"

Numbuh 2 shrugged. Numbuh 4 could stick around and get yelled at by the adult if he wanted to. He grabbed Numbuh 3 and ran away as the adult struggled to get out from under the couch.


End file.
